Holiday Presence

This is a time of year when it is common to find ourselves feeling a sense of overwhelm.  Daylight is dwindling and our energy is on the wane.  At the same time, social and familial obligations for many of us are on the rise.  Whether we enjoy holiday gatherings or not is beside the point.  Either way, we are being asked to dig deeper into our energetic reserves at a time when our bodies--and our minds--might prefer to hibernate.
If you find yourself having a difficult time mustering the enthusiasm to attend yet another holiday function, or feeling particularly averse to going to a party that you do not think you will enjoy, it may be helpful to bear in mind the larger context behind any social gathering:
This gathering will happen but once in a lifetime.  Never again will the time, the place, and the people attending line up in exactly the same way.
Recently I had a chance to attend a party thrown by an old friend.  This is not someone with whom I am particularly close at this point in my life.  There is love and shared history between us, but our life paths no longer intersect with the same frequency that they once did.  I was not particularly looking forward to going, knowing that I would not know many of the people there, and that there were likely to be some awkward moments.  I had also had several busy weeks in a row, and would have preferred to stay home and rest.  But I had not been to a party at my friend's house in quite some time, and I wanted to honor the effort she was putting in to being a hostess.  Remembering the fact that this gathering would only happen once in my lifetime, I decided to attend.
Being aware of the uniqueness of that particular gathering was not a magic pill for having the time of my life.  I found myself in conversations that I wanted to get out of...and I watched my own discomfort.  I found myself getting bored...and I asked myself why I expected others to entertain me.  But I also made fleeting but very real connections with people with whom I least expected to bond.  And although I did not spend much time with my friend that night, whenever our eyes met and we smiled at each other, and when we hugged at the end of the evening, it felt good that she knew I was there for her.  In short, choosing to go to a party that I was not looking forward to proved to be a chance to call on and appreciate my deeper reserves of energy, to sharpen my self-awareness, and to give to a friendship that is important in my life.
Although I went home tired, I felt refreshed after a good night's sleep.  To have missed the gathering would have been a lost opportunity to show up for a completely unique moment in time--one that had much to offer in the way of spiritual fodder, as all moments do when I am paying attention.  I am glad that I chose to show up.