Kapotasana | iHanuman

iHanuman

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Kapotasana

What's the deal with Kapotasana???
It's intense, yes. I can only assume that even for a relativity flexy body, there's a good level of intensity. On a not so good day, I struggle one arm at a time to catch, pant out five breaths and barely straighten my arms in version B.  On a great day, I easy drop-in, my inner ear pops so no outside sounds comes in and tension in my spine feels radiant.  Most days are somewhere in between.
I've been doing this pose fully for well over a year.  I can drop into the posture and am working on catching both heels at the same time.  That's not too shabby, right?  So why, oh why do I still do a mini "prep" backbend before.  Then look back at both sides to see my heels.  Fidget with my clothes a little bit (like that matters!) and finally, after much a-do, kapotasana.
I suspect the level of intensity this pose invokes is fully intended.  Both intensity and vulnerability come from the depth of the backbend and the body's orientation in space.  Exposing the front side of the body so dramatially takes courage, especially when you lock up the extremities.  It makes me feel like there's no where to hide.
Sometimes I feel anxious, excitable, restless or just plain bummed after an intense week of Intermediate. I suspect this is all very normal and I'm in no hurry to push through.  I believe each series has much to teach on a physical, mental and emotional level.  Hurrying through feels good to the ego, but misses opportunity for growth.  I figure, what's the rush then?  If I fidget, there just might be something I'm missing. Could it by a subtle reminder to slow down and pay attention to the details? In a few more months or years, maybe I'll get it.  That's just as valuable as getting to the next posture, in my opinion.
In Ashtanga Yoga As It Is, Matthew says, "Repetition does not entertain, repetition teaches."

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